Teenage Relationships… Are You Ready? Is It Healthy?

Posted: July 25, 2012 in For Parents and Guardians, For Teenagers
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So, you’re young, but you’re now old enough to start dating, unless of course you’re not old enough because you parents want you to wait until a certain age (in which case, you might need to decide if you really think going behind your parents back to date is going to end well). Either way, if you’re considering “dating” and entering into relationships with other teenagers, ask yourself these few very important questions. What qualities do you value in other people? Kindness? Honesty? Sense of humor? Intelligence? Or are looks and popularity all that matter to you? What do you want to “feel” when you’re in the company of your boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you want to feel safe? understood? respected? Or do you only want to feel appreciated as pretty or handsome to the person you’re dating? Also ask yourself what don’t you want to feel when you’re in the company of your boyfriend or girlfriend. And ask yourself if you’d be brave enough to end the relationship if you started to feel the things you don’t want to feel… like controlled, unsafe, pressured, manipulated, or under-appreciated.

Being in relationships can be very confusing. And sexual relationships can be even more confusing, especially if you don’t feel like you know everything you need to know about safety and the risks associated with sexual relationships. Your emotions can be very strong and they can drive you to say things and do things you might not normally do. It is very important that if you decide to enter into a relationship that you also try to keep your perspective and not lose sight of other things that matter… like your family, your friends and your future. Always keep in mind that you are young and that you also have long term goals, because there will be times when it feels like the only thing that matters is your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Be careful not to get so consumed by the relationship that your start to neglect school or your health.

Finding balance between your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend and the rest of your life is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT… and if you feel yourself losing perspective and getting obsessed or overwhelmed, you might want to ask yourself if you’re ready to be in a relationship, or if the relationship you’re in is the right one for you at this point in your life. And if you can’t get clear about these questions, find someone you trust to help you get clear.  Remember, healthy relationships will make you feel whole and good and safe and confident and they’ll make you feel excited to move forward in your life with the goals you had before the relationship… while unhealthy ones will make you feel anxious, jealous, obsessed, unsafe and they’ll make you forget about the goals you had for yourself before you entered into the relationship. Drama does not mean love… jealousy does not mean passion… and losing your appetite or ability to sleep soundly isn’t always a good sign (although sometimes, strong crushes on a boy or a girl can make you a little less hungry). So choose your partner wisely, continuously evaluate whether or not you think it is a healthy relationship, be brave enough to end it if it does not feel healthy… and enjoy it, SAFELY, if it does feel healthy, and you’re allowed to be dating.

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