whether you like it or not… some of us are gay…

Posted: July 19, 2012 in For Educators, For Parents and Guardians, For Teenagers
Tags: , , , , ,

and there’s nothing we or you can do about it.  it’s like being born black in a racist society, being handicapped in a world that ignores people in wheelchairs or having acne, a big nose, thick thighs and a bad hair cut when you’re a teenager… we simply need to find a way to be at peace with who we are, regardless of how others feel about us.  no matter how uncomfortable you are with us being gay, we can’t change the truth of who we are and who we are attracted to any more than you can.  despite what you may think, we do not choose this lifestyle just to be different, we don’t “become” gay just to rebel or make our parents angry, and we are not perverts or deviants. there’s no voodoo that can be done to “cleanse” us and there’s no prayer you can send into the cosmos to change our “nature”.

we want love, connection and healthy relationships… just like everyone else. we have ambitions, want acceptance and appreciate family… just like everyone else… and yes, we get hurt when you look at us with loathing or shame… just like you would if someone you cared about didn’t like something about you that was fundamental to who you are. because it’s such a harsh, judgmental world, we’ll sometimes try to convince ourselves we’re straight when we’re young… but we can only deny or hate ourselves for so long.  we’re just built differently than heterosexuals, just like someone who shines in the spotlight is built differently who thrives in solitude.  regardless of our or your religious upbringing or philosophical beliefs, eventually, we need to be who we are… just like you do.  we don’t lie or keep the secret because we feel it’s wrong to be gay (although some of us do grapple with the notion of “right” versus “wrong”)… we’ll lie and keep it a secret from you because we fear most of the rest of the world thinks it’s wrong.  some of us do experiment when we are young because we aren’t certain of who we are or who we’re drawn to.  it is confusing being young. if we were hurt over and over again by men, we might explore relationships with women… if we were hurt over and over again by women, we might explore relationships with men… but here’s the thing, and it’s very, very important… no matter what you think about being gay, whether you’re our parents, our teachers, our counselors, our priests, our pastors, our rabbis, our bosses, our brothers, our sisters or the people we most look up to… you can only hurt us and our relationship if you try to impose your beliefs on us or rush us into making decisions that we’re not ready to make. so please, just try your hardest to care about us more than you hate the idea of us being different from you.

  1. Beautiful post. As a bisexual woman, dating a woman, I really appreciate your support.

    • Rockman says:

      Thank you so much… absolutely inspired by the increasing number of brave teenagers taking the chance to be who they are.

      • Well, I never officially came out to anyone because I didn’t know anyone who really cared. I’ve just always been who I am. Largely because I was all I had. I am 24 now and I see others struggling around me to come out and I feel for them. I think it is a beautiful thing to do what we can to make others realize you just are who you are- and there’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

  2. Rockman says:

    A very familiar story. So many good people who deserve to feel confident in who they are, end up feeling the shame that the people who judge them harshly should be feeling. Continue being at ease in your own skin and sending the message to those you know… and leave the shame for the critics.

  3. Reblogged this on Through A Windshield and commented:
    As Lady Gaga sings in one of her songs “I’m beautiful in my way, ’cause God makes no mistakes. I’m on the right track, baby. I was Born This Way. ” Sometimes being different is not a choice. It’s just who we are. People need to be more accepting and mindful that we are all born this way. Whether we’re gay or straight should not matter.

  4. Good day! This post could not be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this.

    I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he
    will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

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